Friday, March 29, 2013


There is a little nature area right next to Stapleton that we went to a couple of weeks ago.  It has a nice little lake that wasn't much of a lake and a one mile loop around said lake.  Leland walked 3/4 of a mile that day, I was quite impressed.  There were many stops of course, it took nearly 2 hours but he did it.  It makes me get excited about going on hikes with him this year.  I went and got him some hiking boots so he has some good ankle support.  As long as the weather cooperates and the cold weather eventually stops, we can get our nature on. 

Thursday, March 28, 2013

It takes a village

It takes a village...

For everyone this takes on a different meaning.  For some it means to be close to grandparents and family members, for me it means to make my own family with friends.  I feel that I am really starting to  have my village.  I was already feeling this way but after the miscarriage I knew it was true.  That I had people there to support me and love me and love Leland.  People that would watch him during last minute emergencies and I would do the same for them.

I have never been one to have a lot of girlfriends.  I have always had girls as friends, but often my close friends were guys.  This has changed for the most part since becoming a mother and joining a playgroup. While guys can come to the playgroup they don't.  And some of my venting is about things only women can understand, like breastfeeding.  So now I am in a stage of my life where most of my closest friends are women and while it is different it is really good.

I really enjoy those friendships and glad I have found my village.

Jeff will most likely go elsewhere for his PhD, and it will be very sad to move away from the people I love in Denver.  I will be glad to move to a different town, because I am tired of Denver itself.  But not the people, I will miss the people.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Daddy fun

Leland really enjoys his daddy being around on the weekends.  Especially because Jeff is willing to do some things I am not.  Like wear a bison hat and run around on all fours chasing Leland.  Leland loved it.  It really wore Jeff out, I was tired from just watching (thru the lens of course).  Leland also had to take his turn of charging and chasing Daddy.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Our Connections

It seems that technology keeps improving to make us more connected.  First there were land lines, then answering machines, then pagers, then home computers, then cell phones, then laptops, then texting, then Facebook, then Twitter, then smartphones, then iPads.  Each level makes us easier and quicker to reach.

Is this a good thing?  I feel the more we are connected through technology the less we are connected in life.  This article proves this point.

I wonder if being less accessible when only land lines or hand written letters were available made for better relationships.  That we each had down time, time for our brains to clear, time for our bodies to relax.  When a friend dropped by the house or called it was great.  You wanted that connection because it hadn't been happening all day.  Again read the article linked above it proves that this is true, we need to be unplugged from everything every once in awhile for better relationships.

Now with current technologies there are less opportunities for relaxation and constant opportunity for being tuned it.  Not only are there phones to keep us connected to the world, there are TVs with 24 hour news.  I wonder if this makes us more irritable with people in real life.  When we never get a break from a spouse, child, news, etc. are brains are frazzled.  We can now vent about those aspects of life on Facebook, Twitter, and blogs.  What if we didn't have those outlets?  Would we just calm down in the bathroom ( the only room with a closing door in our house), read a book outside, go on a walk.

I tend to think being less connected would make a difference, which is why I am choosing to use my phone only as a phone and not as a way to be constantly connected to social media and other outlets.
I know I am not alone in this thinking since I have seen many bloggers take a month off the internet.  Always describing it as awful and wonderful at the same time.  Example 1 and 2.

I know I have been guilty of overusing technologies to stay constantly connected, and personally it makes me a worse parent.  I am also guilty of wanting to talk to someone and expecting them to pick up their phone when I call.  I shouldn't expect that and I shouldn't be constantly connected.

When I take a step back I let my kid watercolor, read to him, not let him watch a video for several days which results in him not emptying all the dvds on the floor.  I capture some great moments on the camera.  We go outside on walks.  I read several books in a week.  It is good for me.  My brain feel clearer, I come up with good ideas, I can write.  It is all from being less attached to technology.  I also don't have to charge my phone everyday, which is crazy.  There are still moments where I want to pull my hair out but they are less frequent and I can better handle them when I haven't been on my phone or the computer all day.  

So maybe if you are feel in a funk or your brain is feeling clutter, take a step back and disengage from society a bit.  I bet it will help.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

9 inches

I cut my hair, my long unruly hair.  My hair that I can't remember when it last got cut and had to be contained for sleeping purposes.  It was donated (9 inches), the first time I have had hair long enough to do that.
I am sure it will a long time before it gets cut again.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Weekly Update

- I have transferred my blog subscriptions to Bloglovin' since it was easy, but I am still upset I have to switch from my beloved Google Reader.  How dare you Google.
Follow on Bloglovin
- Leland knows his colors now, which means he has to name the color of everything.  Depending on my mood it toes the line between cute and annoying.

- The Breakfast for Dinner cookbook is amazing.  I checked it out at the library and now think it is a must have.  We have made two very delicious meals from it this week and I am looking forward to making more before I have to return it.

- My hair is too long.  I decided to get a hair cut this weekend but I keep debating how short to actually go.  I am thinking shoulder length hair and planning on taking this photo to the salon.  In related news, I am scared.

- With some birthday money I bought this dress from the Gap and these shoes from the Walking Company.  I am very excited for warm weather to arrive so I can wear them.  Hello Spring, are you there?

Monday, March 18, 2013

Taking a step back

I am taking a step back from social media.  I deleted apps on my phone (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Google reader) and  even considering downgrading my phone when I can (not until August).  Since I am not really using my phone as often I don't have to charge it daily, which is a big change.  

I am also being better about getting on the computer during the day.  I feel like I just get in a routine of being on the computer during nap time and bedtime and then just stick to it even if I have nothing that needs to be accomplished.   Technology is depressing sometimes.

With my extra free time I am going through books quickly.   It also means my head is clearer and I feel better about life in general.

That is all.

Monday, March 11, 2013

It's official...

Happy about his mango snack, with a cat photo bomb

Leland is weaned.  So after I posted that post about weaning, he of course asked for milk that night.  So I let him have some, but after the miscarriage and everything I couldn't do it.  I just needed my body to myself.  He was obviously ready with skipping days here and there.  So now when he asks for it (mainly at night) I say let's cuddle instead, and he is okay with it.

It is kind of crazy not having that attachment anymore after 22 months of it plus the 9 months I was pregnant with him.  But I am not upset about it, it is just weird not having that anymore.

I also went out and got two new bras, like real bras.  I had not worn since I was pregnant with Leland, crazy, but oh so nice to finally wear one.  My profile looks very different when there is a bra under my shirt instead of a nursing tank.  Those nursing tanks are very comfortable but it would nice to have a break from them for a bit.  It is kind of like wearing maternity clothes at the end of pregnancy.  They are comfortable and whatnot but it gets old having to wear the same three shirts everyday, and I only had a few nursing tanks.

Funny side note: I have never given Leland cow's milk, since I nursed him for so long I never felt like he needed it.  With his belly, I think it proves that he didn't need it nutritionally.  So the other day he was been really fussy and whiny and I thought, maybe he just hasn't had enough fat/calories that day.  I tried to give him a drink of milk and the look on his face was priceless.  He was so grossed out and started crying with it still in his mouth, so we won't be trying that again anytime soon.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Thank you literature

Books have been saving me lately.  I am getting completely lost and absorbed in books.  I don't know if  the books are actually that good or I just need an outlet.  I am finally okay with fiction again after a brutal trial of reading that one John Irving book.  It was so blah, boring, uninteresting- I finally had to stop reading so I didn't think badly of his writing because I really do love his books.  I also had a hard time picking up another fiction book right away after trying to read it.

Here are the books I have read recently :

Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos
The Paris Wife by Paula McLain
A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson
Signs of Life: A Memoir by Natalie Taylor

Some people fall to music during hard times, Jeff is like that.  Music can help me (mainly Dave Matthews)  but not nearly as well as books.  I have never considered myself a music person and often when I am a bit down and listen to music it doesn't really help.  Sometimes it just makes the situation worse, but books are different.  They may be depressing at times but somehow always help me get out of the fog in the end.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013


This past weekend was very relaxing and restoring.  My mom had already planned to be out here for a visit, so it worked out well.  She arrived Thursday evening and stayed until Tuesday morning.  We went to the museum (at Leland's request of course), the zoo, went to eat, etc.  Leland was in a really good mood all weekend, it was nice.  He was very excited about his "pappy" being here and cried when we dropped her off at the airport.  This is what he is calling my mom instead of Grandma Patty.  It is funny how kids make up their own names for people.  Our really good friend Heather is called "Nigh" for whatever reasons.

I also read Signs of Life : A Memoir by Natalie Taylor.  It was what I needed this weekend.  The book is about Natalie's life the year after her husband dies.  She was five months pregnant when her husband dies.  So she goes on being a single mother and dealing with her grief.  It helped me.  I can be sad but I know life will continue, Leland will still need me and I will be okay.  I am upset but I don't feel like a lost a child.  I have a child and he is still here thankfully.  To me I am just not pregnant anymore, somehow the last two months just almost didn't happen.

I am most upset about the future changing.  This year at Christmas there won't be a newborn to snuggle with and pass around, it will still just be Leland, and that is okay.  I just have to mentally get past that, and thankfully it was early enough that not many of these future plans were in my head.  Everything was still very vague.

The thing that makes me want to cry the most is how supportive everyone is being.  Thinking about what happened doesn't make me want to cry but someone asking me how I am makes me want to break down.  Today for some reason I am feeling very close to crying over nothing.  I think it might partially be hormones since they can stick around for 4-6 weeks.

There has also been wine.  Not very much, but it is nice being able to have a glass with dinner again.  That is one perk of not being pregnant.  Although I would much rather be pregnant than drink that glass of wine.

Life goes on and I am doing fine.