Jeff had a previous co-worker that passed away over the weekend. For some reason it has really caught me off guard. I didn't even really know him, besides him being my cashier. Maybe it is because he is my age or maybe because I haven't had to deal with death in a while.
As a kid I went to numerous funerals. That is what happens when you had a lot of great aunts and uncles. For a while I had a habit of attaching to who ever would die next. I don't think it was intentional but that is how it seemed to happen to me. After going to so many funerals, I associate flowers with dead people. I am not a fan of flowers.
The worst was when my grandpa died. I can still imagine that day and his funeral. It still gets me to cry at any moment.
I have had a break in the numerous funerals. I am trying to think about the last one I went to and I believe it was a for a friend that died in Afghanistan.
It is awful seeing people your age die, it makes you realize shit can happen at anytime.
All I want to do is hold Leland tight and never let him go or get hurt.
Sorry for the depressing post, but I had to get it out so I get past it. It doesn't help that I am already nostalgic about Leland turning one but I am trying to ignore it for now. I am sure tomorrow will have another sad post because I will have to face the fact that I have a one year old. Good God.