I have always had irrational fears, anxiety and guilt. I usually just keep it to myself because I know I am being irrational, even if I can't help but feel that way. But with being a mom it is so much worse.
I have constant guilt that I am not doing enough for him. That I an under-stimulating him, or boring him, or sometimes overstimulating him. That I am never doing it right or it will never be enough. And I try to tell myself this is silly, but I can't help but think it everyday.
I have an overwhelming fear that he is going to stop breathing. So much so that I check him constantly when he is sleeping, even if he is sleeping on me or in the Bjorn. This past week baby has been great about falling asleep at night, so that I am able to lay him down in bed for an hour or two before I join him. But by doing that I worry that he is going to stop breathing, so I am constantly checking him .
I also worry that while sleeping there by himself he will wake up in the dark and feel alone. I hate that thought, that he feels alone.
I feel all moms have their own set of irrational fears and these are mine. Crazy as they seem, they haunt me everyday. I just keep telling myself he is happy and healthy, that is all that matters.
Every new mom goes through this. I did and sometimes still do. I have to check on my son every night before I go to bed just to make sure he is OK. I also feel guilty when we just stay at home and don't do much but those days of being quiet and low key are so important and he's learning how to entertain himself. I'm sure you are a great mom and just need to get through this stage and remember that no one is perfect. Good luck.
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ReplyDeleteI relate on these emotions. I'm afraid they'll never fully go away.
I've had some of these fears, too, and someone reminded me of this: A bad mom never worries whether she's a good mom. Only good moms worry about that.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that so true?
Your worries are totally normal and common. You're a mom, you love your son, and you want him to be healthy and happy. Because he has a mom who cares so much, I'm betting his chances are real good. :)
(Found you on the Toddle Along Hop! Following you!)
You are a good mom...try not to worry so much and enjoy this time. It is the BEST time...it will get better, especially when he can talk to you and tell you what bothers him. And kids teach themselves so much. Sometimes it is just good for them to sit, not be stimulated and be alittle bored. They figure out how to be happy even bored, which is a good thing, since everyone is bored at some point in there life. And when your children are 20's, 30's and you can see that they know how to take care of things, and handle good and bad in life, some of the worry goes away!...love mom
ReplyDeleteAll of the feelings you are experiencing are normal. I still find myself checking to see if my three year old daughter is breathing while she us sleep. Just know that it does get better. I have a 11 month old and I do not have nearly as much anxiety with him as I did with my first baby. Just the fact that you have all these anxieties and worry so much, proves that you are a great mommy!!! :D
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you, Momma. I am so worried that something I am doing or not doing is going to screw her up for life. I need to shake myself of this. Let me know if you figure it out.
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