Wednesday, April 3, 2013
I was never one of those people that always wanted to be a mother. I never had dreams about it when I was younger. In college there were times that I didn't think I would want children. I had an aunt and uncle that never had kids and sometimes that life seemed like a good idea. Needless to say I was still very self involved at the time, but I was 21. The same aunt told me about a conversation we had when I was still in elementary school. I asked her if she was going to have kids someday, and she said no. The conversation turned and somehow I was telling her how I was not going to have kids. So again, it was never a life long dream of mine as a child.
Then it turned into more of maybe I will have kids some day, we will see. Jeff seemed okay going either way, which was nice, no pressure. My only stipulation that if we do have kids I wanted to be done by the age of 30. But then some time after we moved to Denver I got the urge. I wanted to have a kid. It was all I could think about. So away went the birth control and a couple months later we learned I was pregnant.
Now, I couldn't imagine it any other way. It just feels right to be Leland's mom. I feel like it was suppose to be my job all along I just didn't know. I can't imagine going back to a regular job now because I feel this is where I am suppose to be, at home with Leland (especially while he is young). I also know that our family isn't complete and I am not for sure when it will be, but hopefully in the (near) future we can expand the brood.