Thursday, August 18, 2011


Do I actually have a mother's instinct? I feel like I am always second guessing myself.

Last night baby had a meltdown. And he was doing his pain cry, and it wasn't stopping for anything. I kept wondering if something was actually wrong, but I wasn't getting that gut feeling that something was. I took his temperature, I tried feeding him, Jeff tried walking him, we tried rubbing his belly, everything. And nothing was seeming to work. Finally Jeff took off his diaper, rubbed his belly while I rubbed his head and he passed out.

I don't know if he was just too tired or had some stomach pains or both (he had refused to sleep between 4 and 7). But I am still doubting myself on when I will actually know there is a problem. When would we actually need to go to the doctor, because he is sick? But he didn't have a fever right? Except that I never had fevers when I was sick as a kid or baby. I had several ear infections that were not always known about because I didn't have a fever and I didn't always scream. This worries me.

What if he is the same and doesn't get fevers but is crying because he is sick and I don't know that. And then my mommy instinct that is suppose to kick in doesn't, will he just get more sick until it is a major issue?

I really hope that it was just a fluke and there wasn't anything wrong besides being tired because otherwise I am going to feel guilty, like always. At least I have mommy guilt!

But here he is being cute, like he is 95% of the time:


  1. As a pediatrician I can tell you that you are doing fine. Ear infections are tricky, but the interesting truth that no one knows is that most of them will go away by themselves without intervention. With ear infections you usually get a cold first and then that blocks the inner ear outlet and causes fluid build up and then an ear infection. It doesn't sound like Leo had that so he is probably fine.

  2. leo sounds like he was just tired, tired, tired and mad about also did get just mad as a baby....and i think what you are talking about IS your mothering wouldn't worry about him if you didn't have it...I need to talk to that baby and tell him to chill...(I'm talking about Leo, HA) grandma patty