Thursday, October 7, 2010

12 weeks

So 12 weeks, not much different I guess.  Went and bought a new bra last week, I cannot believe the size it is and that it will only keep growing for a while.  I also got some awesome sweatpants.  I am pretty excited about these since I can wear them to work.  I can still wear my regular clothes they are just a little tighter.  Which is surprising because I feel huge most of the time.  Nausea is getting better and I am feeling less tired.  Still not showing and probably won't for another month or so, right now it just looks like I have been eating too much. 
My biggest issue right now is my crazy worries and fears getting the best of me.  Worrying if everything is still fine with the baby.  I know we saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound and so chances are low, but they are still there.  I am really looking forward to the next appointment, which is still a week and a half away, so we can hear the heartbeat on the doppler and I can know for sure everything is all right.  But until then I am going to keep worrying.  I am sure the worry will continue for other reasons after but right now it is getting the best of me.  I usually have a lot of irrational fears and worries but I keep those to myself knowing they are irrational.  But this I don't feel is irrational with the rates of miscarriage out there.  I keep trying to talk myself into everything is fine and going to be okay but each day I think about the worst.  So hopefully I can stop this fear and get on with the pregnancy.  This is the last week in the first trimester, next weeks marks the start of the second trimester which is exciting.  

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