Motherhood

I was never one of those people that always wanted to be a mother.  I never had dreams about it when I was younger.  In college there were times that I didn't think I would want children.  I had an aunt and uncle that never had kids and sometimes that life seemed like a good idea.  Needless to say I was still very self involved at the time, but I was 21.  The same aunt told me about a conversation we had when I was still in elementary school.  I asked her if she was going to have kids someday, and she said no.  The conversation turned and somehow I was telling her how I was not going to have kids.  So again, it was never a life long dream of mine as a child.

Then it turned into more of maybe I will have kids some day, we will see.  Jeff seemed okay going either way, which was nice, no pressure.  My only stipulation that if we do have kids I wanted to be done by the age of 30.  But then some time after we moved to Denver I got the urge. I wanted to have a kid.  It was all I could think about.  So away went the birth control and a couple months later we learned I was pregnant.

Now, I couldn't imagine it any other way.  It just feels right to be Leland's mom.  I feel like it was suppose to be my job all along I just didn't know.  I can't imagine going back to a regular job now because I feel this is where I am suppose to be, at home with Leland (especially while he is young).  I also know that our family isn't complete and I am not for sure when it will be, but hopefully in the (near) future we can expand the brood.